Asphyxiating Euphoria
by n0xi0us.n1rvaNa
Summary: Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep. A story in 1st person, following the 1st heartless ever created. Terra X OC. The title literally means "Smothering/Strangling Happiness". Read more to find out what happens!
1. Chapter 1

_"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?"  
- Alice (Alice in Wonderland, 1951)_

* * *

**CHAPTER ONE:  
****Out of the Darkness**

_Heartless... The name explains what we are very plain and simply:  
__  
Beings that came from the darkness within hearts of humans...  
Beings that were created when a heart was consumed...  
Beings without feeling and emotion, only the hunger for hearts... _

_This hunger, simply isn't instict.. It's much more complex than it seems. We strive for hearts because we do not have our own. We are jealous of those who have them. The only thing we can feel is the darkness. We weren't always like this, we were just like them. _

_Before, we could feel, as if we had hearts...  
Before, we looked like humans...  
Before, our golden eyes weren't the only thing that shined in the darkness around us..._

_My name is Kieran__, and I was the first heartless ever born... _

_This is my story..._

* * *

I opened my eyes... It hurt... It looked like... white. I cowered away from it, shutting my eyes tightly and curling up into the fetal position as the darkness that eminated from my body swirled around me.

"It's alright, my child... The light won't hurt you... Do not be afraid of it..." I heard a deep voice say. Light... Is that what this was? It felt burning, but warm. I could still see it shining through the darkness of my eyelids. I felt something on my face, covering my eyes. I didn't know what it was, what I was, or where I was. Comfort came to me as I was pulled to my feet and shrouded by darkness. I felt something around me that seemed to embrace me. Then there was another light that flashed for a quick second. I opened my eyes again; I could see now. A figure with tan skin and orange eyes was looking at me, his limbs around me as we were in a ball of darkness.

"Who are you...?" I questionged in my mind.

"My name is Xehanort. I am your Master." the man answered aloud. I tilted my head, examining how his lips moved and a sound came out of his mouth.

"M-Master..." I said, copying his mouth movements and breathing out. I pondered the word for a second as I looked away from him. I looked down at my chest and then to my feet. I was no longer covered in darkness. I raised the limb on my right, examining it. Something covered me, just like the man in front of me had on him, except it was a shade or two lighter. I looked at the man again.

"Who am I...?" I asked.

"You are my creation... Your name shall be Kieran." Master answered.

"Kier-an...?" I questioned. He nodded.

"Don't worry... I will help you... Everything will make sense in due time." Master said. I nodded and leaned my head against his chest. He was my safe place... He was my home.

* * *

My birth had been about a month ago. Upon the first time I looked into a mirror to see myself, I was in amazement... I looked similar to the Master. Not quite like him, but I had similar features that were slightly different. I had two golden eyes that glowed, like his orange ones. I had a nose, a mouth, a voice, two ears, a neck, a torso, two arms with a hand on each and two legs with feet. I also had a mark on the left side of my rib cage; Black and heart-like, outlined and with stitches crossing through it in red. It ran right below my breast to my hip. The Master clothed me, fed me, and made me human. I learned what emotions were and how to feel them. I learned what the world around me was like. Quickly after that, I learned how to fight. The Master taught me first how to revert into my true form, as a he taught me how to use all different kinds of magic. The only weapons I used were Magic Rings; bracelets that were used to strangthen my magic. A little bit into my training, another one who looked like the Master was introduced to me. This one was closer to the age of my body though. The Master said he was training him as well to become the "_X_-blade", whatever that was. His name was Ventus. When I first trained with him, his weapon scared me. It resembled a key. I'd never seen it before. The Master had always just used magic to train me, though later he explained what this weapon was. It was a Keyblade. The Master was also skilled with this weapon, but he thought it was too early for me to be exposed to it before... Ven must have been important if the Master was willing to expose me to this keyblade even though he thought I wasn't ready... Master kept on calling us brother and sister, so that was what we were led to believe. Ven grew to be my younger brother. The family I could never have. My bond with him obliterated the bond I had with Master. I had deep respect and loyalty for the Master, but I developed something else for Ven... An obscure feeling which told me that all I had to do was protect him. I always wanted to be around him, keep him safe. Ven showed me more about the world than I had ever learned with Master. He introduced me to the stars, the moon, the clouds... He made me fear the light no more...

I had been alive for about a year now. The age of my body was nineteen. Ven was seventeen. Ven and the Master were training. I was told to sit this one out. We were in the Keyblade Graveyard as usual. My fists were tightly clenched and my lip was starting to ache from me biting down on it. I was so nervous as I watched Ven. He had been fighting for half an hour straight and was exhausted. His breathing was heavy as he killed the last of the wave of heartless that the Master had sent for him... Another wave of Neoshadows were summoned. They circled around Ven and waited for commands... When would Master stop?

"Please, don't do this, Master! I'm not strong enough!" Ven yelled.

"No... It is because you're trying to hold it in Let the dark impulses waken in the pit of your heart. Release them, here and now! Sharpen your fear into rage." the Master replied. As he spoke, more Neoshadows appeared from the ground. They began to draw closer and closer to Ven. I stood next to the Master, my worried face in contrast with his calm one. Ven... wasn't like that. He was full of light. Sure, there was darkness in him, as there was in everyone, but he wasn't meant to embrace it... He wasn't like me...

The Master continued. "You must! if you do not let the storm within you run its course, it will wipe you from the face of the world, make no mistake! Do it. Embrace the darkness. Produce for your Master the _X_- blade!"

Then the Neoshadows made their move. I closed my eyes and turned away as I heard Ven scream. I turned back to see them ganging up on Ven, who was getting tossed around like a hackeysack. Without thinking, I turned to the Master and grabbed his sleeve.

"Master, please! Make them stop! They're going to kill him!" I yelled.

"This has to be done, child! You are not to interfere!" the Master said sternly, not bothering to look at me.

I sank down to my knees, still clutching his arm. "Please... Please, Master Xehanort..." I cried. I looked up at him as black tears made their way down my face.

"Inept Heartless..." Master said, snatching his arm away from me. My arms fell to the ground as I looked up at Ven. The Master waved his hand once and the neoshadows vanished into the ground. I wondered why I wasn't like them... They too were heartless. What made me so special? What made me different? I got up and began to follow the Master as he made his way down towards Ven. Before I reached the edge of the plateau we were at, he yelled at me.

"Stay here!" he commanded. I halted immediately as the Master made a portal and walked into it. He reappeared through another portal in front of the unconcious Ven. The Master pushed Ven over on his back with his foot. Then he summoned his keyblade. I gasped... He wouldn't... I watched as the Master raised his keyblade above Ven with both of his hands.

"No!" I cried as the keyblade's tip glowed and a stream of light hit Ven's body.

"Ven!" I yelled. I made a portal, appearing in front of Ven as his heart floated in the air.

"Didn't I tell you to stay put?" The Master yelled. I slid next to Ven, resting his back against my lap and holding him as his heart glowed. He was starting to lift up into the air a little as he was gasping for breath. I looked up as darkness surrounded Ven's heart in the air. The glow about his chest faded and Ven's body dropped like a rock. His eyes were glazed over.

"What did you do to him?" I yelled, tears coming from my eyes again. The Master didn't answer me. I looked behind me as a person landed on the ground. It was a boy in a mask, dressed in dark colours.

"Empty creature from Ventus riven... to you, the name Vanitas shall be given." The Master said to the boy. I understood... It looked similar to the way I was created...

"Yes, Master." the boy answered. The Master walked away with Vanitas short behind. He stopped when he reached me. I didn't look up at him, but I could feel his golden eyes on me.

"You..." he said. I didn't reply. I was still fixated on Ven.

"You're... like me..." Vanitas continued.

"No... I'm not like you..." I said. The boy disregarded my reply and walked into the open portal that the Master had left for him. I stared at Ven for a minute and then closed his lifeless eyes. Then I picked him up and walked into the portal as well.

* * *

**Authors Note: Sorry for this being short, I just wanted to get it out. Trust me, the other chapters will be longer. They'll range from 2,000 - 4,000 words, depending on my mood and if I get stuck lol. Pictures of Kieran and other pics that will be used later in the series will be posted in the photo album of my website (www . aeonsoul234 . webs . com)under the album with the same title as the title of this story. happy reading ^_^**


	2. Chapter 2

**authors note: sorry about the long wait for the update(haha, that rhymed! XD)and not having the pictures up on the site. they're up now under the album "Asphyxiating Euphoria". oh, and I'm changing their ages from the first chapter. Kieran was 15 and Ven was 13 when they first met. Ven and Kieran trained with Master Xehanort for about a year before Ven was sent to The Land of Departure.**

_"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep. In dreams you will lose your heartaches. Whatever you wish for, you keep. Have faith in your dreams, and someday, your rainbow will come smiling through. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dreams that you wish will come true."_

_- Cinderella, from "Cinderella"_

* * *

**CHAPTER TWO:  
****Follow the White Rabbit**

From that day, Master couldn't pry me off of Ven... Not that he really cared. Now that he extracted Vanitas out of Ven, Vanitas was his main focus. I was of no more importance to the Master... I was always by Ven's side, watching him. You could hardly call him "alive"... His body was still functioning, but he didn't do anything. He never said a word and barely moved. I would just see his lifeless eyes slowly open and close. The Master came in with Vanitas behind him, as usual.

"Child... Why are you still watching him? Nothing will happen." the Master said. I didn't answer. The Master sighed and then exitted the room.

Vanitas snickered. "I think it's pretty funny, ya know."

"What...?" I asked, my voice low as I glared up at him.

"You act like you actually care for him... Like you actually have a heart..." Vanitas said. I just continued to glare at him. There was nothing that I _could _say to that... That was the truth. I shouldn't have felt emotions like fear and sorrow, but I did. I knew that I could feel these things. I kept on telling myself that I wasn't the same as Vanitas...

* * *

"No!" I screamed.

"You can't take him! Please, Master!" I yelled. Vanitas held me back as I struggled to get to Ven. The master had his hand on Ven's shoulder. It had been about three months since the darkness was extracted from him. He had made progress; Now he was moving and spoke. The life in his eyes was even returning, but he still wasn't himself.

"Let go of me!" I said as I tore away from Vanitas. I ran up to Ven and grabbed his hand, ignoring the Master's harsh stare. Ven slowly turned to me. A smile came on his face and my eyes went wide... I hadn't seen that smile for ages. Tears started running down my cheeks as he put his other hand on top of mine.

"I'll be okay... Kie-ran..." He said slowly. He put his hand down and I felt his grip on my hand fade. I looked down at the ground. As I sank down to it, I let go of him and he walked away with the Master.

"You're starting to become troublesome, Kieran... You will be put back in your place..." I heard the Master say before vanishing into a portal. I didn't care though... Ven was gone... My "life" was gone... I was nothing again.

* * *

The darkness around me faded. I fell to the dusty ground and I reverted back to my "human" form.

"Get up!" the Master yelled. He was observing from a plateau above. This was my punishment... I was forced to fight Vanitas and the Unversed; beings created from the negative feelings of Vanitas himself. I lifted my head and looked around as the second and third Iron Imprisoners surrounded me. I had beaten the first and fourth. They were a handful by themselves and Vanitas only made the fight harder. The second summoned its iron cage and I was teleported into it. I screamed in pain as it shot lasers at me.

Vanitas laughed. "You're right. We are different..."

A portal appeared below me. I was sucked into it and appeared in front of him. I lifted my head up to see him, still on the ground.

He pointed his keyblade at me, right in between my eyes. "I'm strong and you're weak... Just like Ven is..."

I gritted my teeth and looked down at the floor. Now I was angry. Right as Vanitas raised his keyblade to strike me, I yelled, reverting once again to my true heartless form. A shockwave of darkness came from me after my transformation. Vanitas was knocked back by it and tumbled on the ground a couple feet away from me. His mask was knocked off from the blast. I stepped back a little when I saw his face... He bore a striking resemblence to Ven in a way, but he looked completely different. We also had something similar; Both of us had the same golden eyes, just like the Heartless and Unversed did.

He laughed again. "Oh, did I get you angry?"

I charged for him. As I glided across the ground, I left pools of darkness. Shadows began to scurry out of the pools. A hand reached out of the pools of darkness. The owner of the hand slowly pulled itself out. It was a Darkside. It trailed behind me with the shadows and clashed with the two Iron Imprisoners. The Darkside went after one by itself, while the shadows swarmed after the other. Vanitas blocked me with his keyblade as I pounced on him.

"You're not the only one who can control the darkness..." I said. As I spoke, two voices were heard. They were both my own. One was the voice that was heard when I spoke in my "human" form and the other was a darker voice that sounded like a deep whisper, but could be heard as if I were talking normally. The shadows climbed on top of the Iron Imprisoner, making it fall to the floor. Then, they began to drag it into the darkness they had created under it. The Darkside did the same with the other Iron Imprisoner after taking it down. Now it was only me and Vanitas. I jumped off of him. He got up and we began to circle each other. He lunged for me but I jumped out of the way. I swirled thunder around me and then launched myself at him, hitting him hard. Vanitas was thrown back, but caught himself after tumbling twice. Even though my mouth couldn't be seen in this form, I was smirking. Who was the weak one now?

"What's wrong, Vanitas? Can't beat a girl?" I asked. He grunted in response, his face turning sour. I'd spoken a little too soon... Vanitas disappeared for a second, coming up behind me. I turned around, trying to kick him, but he froze for a second and then reappeared from a portal above me.

"Too slow!" Vanitas said as he came down, unleashing a combo that got me with every hit. As I was smashed back down to the ground with the last hit of the combo, I turned back into my "human" form.

Vanitas walked up to the crater I had made on the impact and looked down at me, his keyblade still in his hands. I tried to get up, but I was too weak.

"Hmph... You're pathetic." Vanitas said before walking off.

I slowly and painfully pried myself off of the earth that I had been slammed down into. I looked up when I saw the Masters feet on the ground in front of me. His face held absolutely no emotion... as usual.

"Learn your place, girl... You're not the one who decides what happens here. I am. I am your creator. You should do well to remember that... Next time, I won't be so nice as to have Vanitas put you in your place. Next time, it will be myself. And trust me, that will be the last battle you will ever be in." the Master said.

"Y-Yes, M-Master... I'm s-sorry..." I managed to get out. He turned away and disappeared into another portal. I reached out for him, and then collapsed. When I woke up, I pondered on what I would do. I was still in the same spot I was in before, but that didn't have to hold true... I could go just about anywhere that I wanted to since I could make portals. Other worlds were an option for me... I could run away... I could find Ven... My mind was set once that idea came into my mind. I sat up, summoning a portal to anywhere... Anywhere but here...

* * *

I left that day. I had no idea where Master had brought Ven, but I was determined to find him no matter what. My search went on forever. I went through countless worlds that I never knew existed. After I thouroughly searched a world to discover that Ven wasn't there, I just closed my eyes and made a portal, not even thinking of where I was going. I didn't know much of the worlds outside the Keyblade Graveyard, so taking random swings was the best chance I had of finding him. Along my way, I encountered the Unversed... They were everywhere. I wondered how they appeared in other worlds... I guess the Master was having Vanitas pollute the other worlds with them. I was tired of searching worlds to find nothing... I was tired of being alone... I admit, constantly fighting off the Unversed made me a lot stronger, but I would've sacrificed all of the strength I had just to find Ven... to find my light...

Finally, after three long years, my journey ended. I found him... Unintentionally. I was swarmed by the Unversed in The Radiant Garden. They were too much for my heartless and me to handle, so I created a portal and ducked out of there. They reappeared at my destination not even a second after I set foot in it. I once again, I tried to fight them, but they were too much. I created another portal and went into another world. Once again, the Unversed followed me. There was no use trying to go to another world, so I stood and fought until I was forced to revert back into my "human" form. At that point, I picked up and ran. There was nothing else I could do. I screamed in pain as I was hit hard by a shield of a Buckle Bruiser. The shield made me slam into trees, breaking them down as I crashed into them. I lay on the ground, moaning in pain with half of my body on a broken tree. My head was back and I could only see the trees behind me. I coughed and blood came out of my mouth. I started choking on it, so I leaned up to see all of the Unversed coming for me. I quickly crossed my arms and casted Aerora to reflect the attacks and keep me safe for a little while. I forced myself to get up and run away from the Unversed. My whole body ached, and my chest felt like it was caving in everytime I took a breath. As I continued to cover distance, more and more of the Unversed appeared. A Tank Topler caught me off guard and shot itself at me, making me tumble on the ground. I shakily tried to get up as the Unversed circled me. I looked above me to see a Bruiser in the air about to smash down on me. I raised my left hand to cast another spell, but before I could do so, a spinning object came out of nowhere and pierced through the Bruiser, making it disappear. The object circle around me, vanquishing about six of the Unversed that were around me. I realized that this object was...

"Keyblade...?" I mouthed. A man with spikey brown hair that had armour on his right hand rocketed in front of me. Our eyes locked as he spiraled in midair and caught the keyblade. He extended it in both of his hands and pierced through another Bruiser. I sat there as he stayed close to me and defeated the Unversed. I casted Firaga and killed an Unversed that was behind him as he defeated the one in front of him. He turned around and then performed a sliding dash. I didn't flinch. My hair waved as he breezed by, killing a Scrapper behind me. I turned around to see him go from a fighting stance to a normal stance. The Keyblade seemed to "digitalize" and disappeared from his hands.

"You're not from here, are you...?" he asked.

"No... I'm not..." I said.

He turned around. "I'm Terra."

"Terra... I'm Kieran. Thank for saving me..." I answered. I saw Terra quickly jolt a little when he heard my name.

He walked up to me and knelt down so that we were seeing eye to eye. "Why were those things attacking you?"

"I... I don't know..." I lied. "They followed me here."

"How'd you end up here in the first place?"

"I.. was trying to get away from them and I ended up here... It's a long story." I said. There was a short silence between us.

"C'mon, I'll take you some place safe before they come back." Terra said. I nodded and he started to walk. I slowly started to get up. So far, so good. Not too much pain. When I was fully up, I took a step forward and then it all hit me. I clutched my ribs in pain and collapsed on my knees on the floor, coughing up blood.

Terra turned around and ran up to me, kneeling down again. "What happened to you?"

"G-got hit b-by a shield f-from a Bruiser..." I managed to get out.

"Don't tell me that explosion in the forest before was from you getting hit..." Terra said. I nodded before coughing up more blood.

"Just hold on, okay?" Terra said. He gently picked me up bridal style and started to run. The bouncing from him running made the pain in my ribs unbearable. My head leaned against his chest and I unconciously clutched his shirt. I struggled to stay awake, but passed out.


End file.
